I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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