What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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