tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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