So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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