My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
