normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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