Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
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By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize