If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
