So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize