So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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