I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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