Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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