He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.