i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
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i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
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I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I lost the right to judge tonight
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that