But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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