I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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