went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
