Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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