wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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