Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
