I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
my being single is dangerous.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
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Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
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Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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