hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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