I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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