she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.