he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
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I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
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You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida