His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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