im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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