Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that