i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.