i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win