Heybabeimwearingurpanties
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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