I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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