Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
thus making me awesome and them whores
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
