You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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