i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
and technically it was a rebound
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!