It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit