Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
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Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
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We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.