Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
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i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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