Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
