The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize