Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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