Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
