Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize