did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
