this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Randomize
