...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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