Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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