The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Princesses don't give blow jobs
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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