so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize