I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
