Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We had to coat check the pizza.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
