I didn't shave. On purpose
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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