I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
