she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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