So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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