Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
You work out of a Hotel?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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