this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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